001. The Year of 32, New In, and In Defense of 'Devs'

Starting off with a variety of topics in this inaugural newsletter!

Welcome to the first official Tender Forms Off-Camera newsletter! First, I want to say a big thank you, dear reader, for signing up. I know our inboxes can get quickly cluttered and overwhelming, so I'm very grateful to be allotted this coveted inbox space. It means so much to me to speak with you directly. Just a reminder that you can reply directly to this email if you'd like to chat privately, or you can comment on this newsletter along with others on my substack!

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On Monday, I turn 32 years young. I mistakenly thought for the better part of last year that I was already 32, so it probably won't feel much different come Monday!

A lot of people say their 20s are the best. They're young, vibrant, and filled with energy ready to take on the world. And for the most part, I agree. But my 20s felt like the game, Tetris. Blocky, awkward, time either moved too fast or too slow, and things didn't always click into place. Yes, every opportunity was open to me, it was just up to me to decide which one to take, which road to go down. There was a lot of trial and error. More errors because ultimately, I was still very young, and when I go too fast, I make mistakes, so my 20s were filled with them!

When I think back, 2013 was the year my life changed dramatically. All the worst and best things happened that year. My father was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. A month later, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Then, in early September, I met my now-husband, but in late September, my dad moved on to greater and better things. Meaning he passed and is up in Heaven enjoying lots of rare steaks, red wine, and all the war movies he wants to watch and re-watch (I wish I could join him)! Then in October, my mother got a double mastectomy, but I'm thrilled to say she's been cancer-free for over five years now.

There's nothing like a major life change to really shift and put you in gear. That year made me realize life is short, unpredictable, and like with all things, you get out of it what you put into it. And I was ready to live my life the way I always said I would instead of just dreaming it. It's been an amazingly positive ride since then.

Fast forward to today, and I love my (granted, early) 30s! I'm a firm believer 30s will be my favorite rather than 20s. I've never felt more myself than now. Things have slowed down and eased since reaching 30. (Just don't count our moving from NYC to the PNW, delayed honeymoon of two months in Asia, and becoming first-time homeowners.)

Now changes move at a gentler speed, and they click softly into place. Life feels more organic, each step a fluid movement from one moment to another. Not only do I feel most myself, but I find myself fitting into the world better now. It's hard to explain, but I feel a part of the grander scheme of things. Whether that be in nature or social environments. Anyone who's an introvert or marches to the beat of their own drum will know how nice it is to finally feel like you fit in.

It felt right to commemorate a birthday with a photo of my face, but it felt extra right to have the portrait reflect the current state of things. I like thinking about looking back on this post someday in the far future and knowing precisely this moment. "Hey, remember when we all had to wear masks? How cool is this one from Lucia LaFerme, though?" ::insert my laugh-crying face::

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Otherwise known as when the words “Limited Edition” get you.

Some of you may know that I love two things: a good matte and color. So naturally, when I feasted my eyes on the wondrous eyeshadows that were the Āether Beauty Joshua Tree palette, my mouth instantly salivated. ::find cute puppy drooling gif::

I'll admit, this was the hardest item not to impulse buy in a long time. Over the past few years, I've really honed in on what I like and dislike when it comes to makeup. So I don't purchase much anymore. I've curated a collection I'm already quite proud of and very much in love with. But I still fall for specific colors in specific types of formulas (read "colors not often found in clean beauty as matte eyeshadows").

I already own the Crystal Grid Gemstone palette from Āether Beauty, so I'm familiar with the quality of their eyeshadows. The palette is one of my all-time favorites and, by far, most used eyeshadow palette. The only issue is that the Crystal Grid palette contains only shimmers, and the Joshua Tree palette only mattes. I've never tried their matte formulas before, so I was unsure how it'd perform. But after watching plenty of reviews and demos, I went in knowing that while some shades may be patchy, for the most part, they’re buttery and highly pigmented.

Of course, it just so happens that when I finally cave and buy it, two days later, they have a 20% off sale. ::cry face:: Luckily, when I ordered, I used Andie's (@andiethegreenqueen) 15% off affiliate code (thanks, Andie). And now I'm an Āether Beauty affiliate too!

I'm an Āether Beauty affiliate too! Use code “tenderforms” for 15% off.

This is my first affiliate link and mainly because I accidentally signed up for it! I thought it was more a referral system, but halfway through the process, I realized it was to be an affiliate, and I thought I might as well try. I'm not sure if Tiila (founder) herself approves them or if it's through another agency, but I was humbled and so thankful to be approved. There are many reasons I support Āether Beauty, but first and foremost is their product. They're my favorite colorful eyeshadow, clean beauty option. Second, is Tiila's continuous effort of being zero-waste and bringing that topic to the forefront. I'm an avid recycler and take time to dispose of my products correctly. I can thank Tiila for educating us on that recycling process (first heard her speak of it in this interview with Caroline of @cosmeticsbycaroline). She's also a one-woman show, and does everything for Āether Beauty! It's unbelievable the amount she takes on, and I will support her and the brand in any way I can.

Unfortunately, you can't combine them for 35% off (I tried), but the 20% sale is still running, or if you'd like to support me, the code "tenderforms" gives you 15% off. (All Āether links are already my affiliate link and should automatically use the discount code. But you can replace it with the Āether code "EARTHLOVE" at checkout if you want 20% off instead!)

I can't wait to try all the eye looks with this palette. It's stunning, and I think perfectly compliments the Crystal Grid palette. I'm sure I'll post about it over on Instagram too, but would you like to see an update in an upcoming newsletter? Let me know!

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If you follow me on Instagram and thought I may have stopped watching this because I stopped doing my "Watching" stories on it, know that I continued and finished this limited series (quite the feat if I do say so myself, explanation to come below).

Don't worry, this is a SPOILER-FREE zone.

From what I've (minimally) read online, you will either love or hate this series. Even most tv critics who "liked it" only really enjoyed the beginning and end. So, where did this series go wrong?

Let's start with what it got right: everything categorized under "style." That includes but is not limited to cinematography, visual effects (VFX), music, costume, and set design. It is one of the most uniquely styled television series at the moment.

Here's an as-brief-as-I-can-make-it breakdown of all that went right and wrong:

Rob Hardy, a frequent collaborator of director Alex Garland, returns for cinematography. While it's definitely in the same style as Garland's past excellent features ('Ex Machina' and 'Annihilation'), it's personally not my favorite of his. Compared to the rest of current television, it firmly holds the number two spot for best cinematography (number one to come in next week's newsletter). I am, however, very impressed still, because this is a highly ambitious show (to its detriment) and to pull off what he did is nothing short of stellar.

I'll be making a lot of comparisons between 'Devs' and Spike Jonze's 2013 film, 'Her.' The shots are blocked alike, and both use similar visual devices. In the frames below, both scenes use reflective surfaces to convey the distance between each character and where they yearn to be. Though Forest (Nick Offerman) and Katie (Alison Pill) physically sit next to each other, Katie is cropped out of frame, and only reflected within an object in the field, signifying the disconnect of the two. In ‘Her,’ Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) is trying to reach Samantha (Scarlett Johansson) but can’t get a hold of her. Only he appears in both his physical world and the reflection (representing the digital world where Samantha resides) with no Samantha in sight.

The next visually notable feature of the series is the VFX. As much as production crews nowadays turn to VFX because it's cheaper, a lot of factors (mainly schedule and budget) play into the success (or failure) of it. I expected more from this category, having seen the past work on Garland's features. Both projects use VFX, but there's a clear difference in quality and style. It's important to note that there are significantly more VFX shots in 'Dev's as it's an episodic series, versus the 126-minute runtime of 'Her.' To me, there are only two notable executions: episode five and what I’m calling “the projection” without spoiling too much. Still, probably the best VFX on television right now.

One of my favorite parts of this show was the work of these two departments. They struck the perfect balance to depict an alternate reality of our world in the near future. ‘Devs’ achieves something very similar to the wardrobe and set design of 'Her.'

The brilliance of 'Her' is that it looks both contemporary and futuristic in the most believable way. It's a mixture of current interior and exterior design with moments that lean more sci-fi.

In both, the character wardrobes are very minimal. Almost all the characters in 'Devs' wear solid, neutral color basics spanning from whites to greys to blues to blacks. Only Forrest wears any sort of pattern (most likely to set him apart from the rest per storyline), except for the penultimate episode where Lily wears a patterned pajama pant (in my theory, to initiate and signify her transformation).

In 'Her,' Theodore's (Joaquin Phoenix), along with most of the cast's wardrobe comprised mainly of drab solid colors. Lots of whites, beiges, blues, and greys. A bright red is introduced when he begins his relationship with Samantha. He then wears a bright yellow on a date suggested by Samantha, but it doesn't go well. He returns, again and again, wearing the same bright red (whether in shirt or jacket form) in almost all subsequent scenes with Samantha during their happiest. He only switches back to the yellow whenever their relationship takes a hit.

As for set design, both environments seem realistic to us. That's because it's a mix of modern skylines with accents of something new. 'Devs' showing a San Francisco of a close alternate reality, and 'Her' of any near-future metropolis. Both interject futuristic technologies into everyday environments. Almost all products in 'Devs' are familiar to us already here in 2020. They use AirPods, and minimalist water filters (the pitcher in frame is from the brand, SOMA). All items in 'Her' are slightly modified to look technologically forward, which in their interpretation is always a minimalist design. Theodore wears a non-descript wireless earbud, and everything is voice-activated, so no need for keyboards anymore. (Note that ‘Her’ released in 2013, and so far, they’ve been on track with their technology forecast.)

But enough about visuals, let's talk about the story. Keeping this spoiler-free, let me just say this series isn't for everyone. The best way to watch this is as if it were experiential art at MOMA. Don't force yourself to follow the story, dive into the layers of meaning, or make sense of it. If you expect nothing from this, you'll probably come out with something (if only the delicious visuals of it). Plot-wise, 'Devs' reminds me of the current season of HBO's 'Westworld.' Pace-wise, both are a slow-burn (pun unintended in case you've watched 'Devs'), but 'Westworld' is much more tolerable. Both investigate similar philosophies, and ‘Devs’ really started off with a bang. The first two episodes are excellent, and I always enjoy the topics Garland chooses to explore. However, this is his least successful project screenplay-wise. I'm not sure if it's the format that led it to fall apart (an eight-episode series, versus a two-hour feature film), or it was flawed from the beginning. I wish he would make a film about the main idea explored in 'Devs' because I felt like there were so many missed opportunities. It didn't feel fully-realized, and I hated the ending. And even if the story wasn't highly flawed, the casting is infuriating. INFURIATING.

Our protagonist, Lily Chan (played by Sonoya Mizuno), is the number one reason I almost gave up on the show entirely and why it felt like such murderous work to sit through the series. What made it worse was that her partner in crime, Jamie (played by Jin Ha), was equally irritating. And I don't want to hate. Both characters are Asian, and I WANT TO SUPPORT THEM, but GAH DAMN, they were the worst. Half of it is not their fault, because the issues lie first within the dialogue itself. When you only have so many words in your lines, it's hard to make the fiftieth delivery of "Wait, what?" (paraphrasing) sincere and not cringeworthy.

I could have done without their (Lily and Jamie's) entire storyline. What was most heartbreaking was a scene with Sonoya Mizuno and Alison Pill. The level of talent is too vastly different, and it pained me to sit through it because Pill's delivery was so technical and in-character, and every time Mizuno answered a question with a question, I wanted to punch through the television into her face. I understand that it's part of the Lily character to be so far behind the curve as the protagonist, and it's difficult when your lines are all one-word questions. But that mixed with the way she chose to act it is the headache and nausea from the worst hangover you never wanted.

I have more to say that would lead to spoilers, so I'll stop here. Just know I'm a huge fan of the show's stylistic choices but could care less about the two protagonists, Lily and Jamie.

One last honorable mention goes to the music of 'Devs.' Both Geoff Barrow (most notably from the band, Portishead) and Ben Salisbury both worked on Garland's previous two films. Newcomers The Insects have previously worked with Massive Attack, so together, the three produce the dark, tension-filled scores you hear during the series. But some of the real magic comes from the non-original songs featured throughout. Because the series is so stark in terms of sound, the choice of song throws you from one moment deeply into another.

This series would be perhaps best watched without dialogue, with only visuals and music like one long music video. Even as I scrubbed through the episodes for this newsletter, I had it on mute with the instrumental music I was listening to, and it was great. Let's make it happen!

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Wow, this newsletter turned out to be much longer than I originally anticipated. But by now, you probably know by now that I love to use all the words. ::facepalm:: If you made it to the end, thank you so much!

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The format of these will probably continue to be in flux for the first few as I try to figure things out. In the meantime, join me in a conversation in the comments (please remember to be kind to everyone)! See you guys next week!